Why do most of us never turn to our parents for help?
If life was like a video game, and every single crisis or challenge was another stage in this quest, our parents would already be fairly close to coming toe-to-toe with the final boss.
For they have already wrestled with the awkwardness of adolescence. And they have grinded and leveled up within their workplaces. They have also mined for enough resources to build a home for the family.
But even though they are flushed with experience points and can easily act as a Sherpa through life’s most difficult puzzles, many of us choose not to run to them; especially when we get stuck on a certain level in life. Instead we turn to our friends, who often are no further along than we are. And the question is why? Why don’t we seek advice from those who seem to be so much more qualified to give it?
The answer is that experience and advice is often overrated. Most of us turn to our peers for help, because they have something to offer us that our parents have lost over time. That gift is… empathy.
The reason why our parents seem to be so devoid of empathy is because their vast history of life experience causes them to develop a subconscious bias. Their accomplishments lull them into believing that past challenges can be easily overcome and conquered. And the past pains they have once felt have lost their sting when they are only remembered in hindsight.
On the other hand, a friend who has no experience at all is blessed with a fresh and sensitive spirit. They are open to empathizing with us and our struggles, for they are not jaded by their past experiences and accomplishments. And often times, it is not the lack of knowledge that blocks us in life. Rather it is the lack of empathy that makes it hard to get back up.
So the next time someone runs up to us and tells us their problem, there is no need to reopen our quest menu and show off our accomplishments and trophies. For sometimes they are not looking for advice or guidance. They are longing for our compassion and empathy instead.
